Limericks: There Once Was a Blogger from Texas

It’s another Amaze-ing Words Wednesday with a fun with language post! Who doesn’t love a good limerick?

Leprechauns in the
City of Limerick, Ireland

Limericks are five-lined poems with the aabba rhyme scheme in which the 1st, 2nd, and 5th lines are longer and the 3rd and 4th lines form a rhymed couplet. Although poetry with this meter and rhyme appeared centuries earlier, it wasn’t until the late 19th century that such poems were referred to as limericks.

How they got they got the name limerick is a debated issue. Some suggest that it hails from the tavern song, “Will You Come Up to Limerick?” in which drinkers/drunkards made up their own verses, most with bawdy lyrics. However, Arthur Deex, editor of the Limerick Special Interest Group newsletter, makes a better case that the nonsense poems were adopted by Irish taverns, in particular the ones in the town of Limerick. By the late 1800’s, the name stuck to the poems themselves. (See The Assent of the Limerick.)

Edward Lear is the most famous purveyor of the limerick. His Book of Nonsense published in 1861 included 112 limericks, although he did not use that term. Here are a couple of examples of his children’s poetry in limerick form:

There was a Young Lady whose chin,

Resembled the point of a pin;

So she had it made sharp,

And purchased a harp,

And played several tunes with her chin.

There was an Old Person of Berlin,

Whose form was uncommonly thin;

Till he once, by mistake,

Was mixed up in a cake,

So they baked that Old Man of Berlin.

Lear’s limericks usually began with a person from a place, and that format has been followed by most. (Poor Nantucket.)

Of course, most of us don’t think of children’s poetry when we imagine a limerick. (Once again, poor Nantucket.) Limericks are often a vehicle for suggestive or even offensive poetry (such as the few I found from science fiction author Isaac Asimov). Since I try to keep this blog a mostly PG place, I am going to leave you to hunt down the most shocking limericks yourself if you wish. But here are two examples, the first featuring a military trumpeter:

There was a young bandsman of Dee,

Tried to play with a girl on his knee

But the point of the joke

Is he struck the wrong note

And the wedding’s on Thursday at 3.

There was a young girl named Bianca

Asleep on a ship whilst at anchor,

But awoke with dismay,

When she heard the mate say,

“Let’s hoist up the main sheet and spank her.”

(Source: limericks.org)

Frankly, if you ask most people whether they like poetry, they would say no. But ask if they enjoy a good limerick, and you might get a different response. There is something about the rhythm of the limerick and ease of the beginning “There once was . . .” that endears it to most. It’s easy to hear the beats of the poem and find something interesting to say.

In fact, the limerick lends itself to many topics. I’ll give it a shot:

There once was a storyteller

Who wrote and wrote in her cellar

Though at times it was weary

She sent query after query

And now she's a multi-bestseller

Do you enjoy limericks? Do you know any that you could share without blushing? Can you come up with your own limerick below? Have you ever been to Limerick, Ireland and sung a drinking song in a pub?

Can I Make Up a Word?

I speak of the
pompatus of love.
- "The Joker"



Welcome to Amaze-ing Words Wednesday! There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who believe that Steve Miller is super-cool for making up a word - “pompatus” [of love] - and those who think Steve Miller was being silly.

It would be convenient at times to simply make up your own words. For instance, if you are writing a poem or a song, it might help to invent a word to better rhyme with another word. You might need something to rhyme with "angst" (nothing does).

When attempting to avoid cussing (for whatever reason), it might be nice to call someone a “kerpluk,” which you have personally decided means “you dim-witted, selfish, son of a #!*%*.” (If my mom is reading this, that was "son of a gun.”)

Moreover, you may have discovered some item or concept that has yet to be labeled. After all, what do you call that string of dead bugs which gather between your carpet and baseboard? If it happens often to enough people, maybe someone should invent a word for it.

I think the pompatus of love sounds delightful. I don't know what it means and don't need to (although The Straight Dope has a good article on its origin). The word is just fun to say and to sing.

Made-up words yet to be officially defined or commonly used are neologisms. The Washington Post hosts neologism contests through The Style Invitational. They invite readers to submit invented words based on some concept and parameters (for instance, using foreign words) and then choose winners from among the entries.

Some winners and runners-up of the contest are featured below:

Cogito ergo bum: Sudden realization of graduating philosophy majors.

Fit accompli: When the screaming 2-year-old finally gets the cookie.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

The New York Times also printed a few neologisms in March 2011, including the following words that you might wish to add to your vocabulary:

Centrovert: One who is slightly introvert and slightly extrovert and is thus ideally suited for mediation, negotiation and collaboration.

Disposophobia: A sesquipedalian term for hoarding.

Sheening: To behave like Charlie Sheen – partying, questionable decision making and public humiliation.

Rice University keeps a Neologisms Database (compiled by ENGL215/LING215 students). Here are some of their entries:

Aberzombie: One who wears only clothing from the Abercrombie clothing store and is viewed as lacking in unique personality or independent taste in style.

Pirattitude: To act like a stereotypical pirate, by singing chanties and engaging in other such activities.

Sweaxy: The feeling of having an attractive glow of good health after exercising.

The University of Pennsylvania maintains a website called the Language Log which also notes neologisms as they appear in our language, such as:

Scrobble: To kidnap or capture, such as media that you shouldn't be pirating.

Sportspocalypse. The month packed with sports video game releases; a showdown of licensed sports titles.

Additionally, I hear slang terms all of the time which make no sense to me, so I head over to the Urban Dictionary to look them up. These are words which people have made up or heard and then written their own definition for. Top entries as I write this post include:

Carnevoyeur: A vegetarian who derives satisfaction from watching other people eat meat or hearing about the eating of meat.

Chiptease: When you buy a bag of chips thinking that it will be full of chips, but when you open the bag it's barely full.

Manolescent: A man of any age that shirks adult responsibilities.

Some neologisms have crept into my own vocabulary, such as "staycation” and “cringeworthy.” Yet I want to invent my own word. Something filled with meaning, beneficial to humankind, and lasting in its impact (Shakespeare coined words, you know). Living with three guys (hubby and two sons), I believe I've come up with a few good ones:

Legonavigate: To pick out a path and walk around Legos strewn across the floor in an effort to keep from stepping on those building blocks and cursing the Danish. “I had to Legonavigate his room to reach the dresser.”

Pyrecreation: Setting things on fire – such as paper, twigs, crackers, Cheetos, etc. - for recreational amusement. “Our sons are engaged in pyrecreation with the fire pit on the back porch.”

Spocktacular: A statement or action revealing the overly analytical nature of a person such that they should be compared to the Star Trek Vulcan. “Dude, that was Spocktacular!”

So what do you think? Which of the above neologisms do you like? What neologisms can you offer? Have you heard any great ones lately?

A Lesson with Miss Pronunciation

"Listen up, class."
-Miss Pronunciation

It's time for AMAZE-ing Words Wednesday! Today’s word lesson will be taught by renowned language arts instructor, Miss Pronunciation. Miss Pronunciation will present the incorrect and correct ways of articulating some commonly mispronounced words in the English language. Without further ado, I hand our virtual classroom over to Miss Pronunciation.

AUTHOR

Arthur is a lovable aardvark featured in children’s books by Marc Brown and the PBS series of the same name and/or Dudley’s Moore drunken character from the movie Arthur (1981) which co-starred Liza Minnelli and gave John Gielgud a Supporting Actor Oscar. An author writes books. Please do not confuse the two.

ASK

An axe is a tool wielded for cutting down trees or butchering family members (e.g., Lizzie Borden). To ask is to inquire, query, request information.

ATHLETE

An ath-a-lete does not exist. Unfortunately, the additional syllable is often added by those simply unaware of the proper two-syllable version, athlete, or by such athletes who have been knocked in the head too many times.

ET CETERA

I believe that Excetera, or Ekcetera, is Superhero Elektra’s younger sister whose ninja skills didn’t quite make the cut to get her own comic line. Et cetera, pronounced [et set-er-uh], is the Latin phrase meaning “and so on” and is used to indicate more items in a list without naming them specifically.

Pic from Kevin at deviantart.com

IDEA

An ideal is a standard of perfection or excellence, while an idea is a notion or thought which pops into your mind like that light bulb above the cartoon character's head. What would be ideal is for people to pronounce idea without the added “l” since it is rather unnecessary and somewhat confusing.

LIBRARY

Libary is the command given to your dog Barry when you wish him to play dead for the amusement of your neighbors. A library (note the "r") is a public institution which collects and loans out books to residents who go the trouble of procuring a library card.

New York Public Library

MISCHIEVOUS

Mischievous is a word almost no one knows how to say. However, it does not have an ē sound anywhere in the word (no mischievEEous). Those who mispronounce it demonstrate a mischievousness all their own. Personally, Miss Pronunciation believes that the problem could easily be avoided by changing the spelling of this word altogether to mischuhvus.

PICTURE

A pitcher is what one uses to pour liquids into cups and glasses, as in “Bring me and my buddies another pitcher of beer!” If, however, you have too many pitchers, you and your friends will not be a pretty picture for long. Not only will your speech slur such that you can no longer get a “k” sound in before the “ch,” but nearby tables will ask you to leave or call the cab for you. (Drink responsibly. Or not at all.)

Johannes Vermeer's The Milkmaid
A piCture with a piTcher

SPECIFIC

The Pacific is an ocean or the region of islands in that ocean. Specific is something identifiable and particular. You may wish to be more specific in using this word by making sure that you include the requisite “s."

SUPPOSEDLY

If the good-looking guy across the hall asks whether you get ESPN because he wants to watch the game at your place, do not answer “Supposably I do.” That will be the last “I do” you say to him if he possesses pronunciation skills. In fact, he will supposedly find another young lady in the apartment building whose couch is comfortable and whose speech is clear. “Oh well,” you say, “I didn’t want a sports-obsessed couch potato anyway!” Perhaps, but you might want to shift that “b” to a “d” just in case the guy you adore wants to know if the Caribbean cruise passes through Acapulco, to which you would say, “Supposedly” as you pack your carry-on to join him.

Miss Pronunciation thanks you for your attention and hopes that this lesson has been enlightening and entertaining.

What other words have you heard mispronounced? Do you struggle with certain word pronunciations yourself? (Undoubtably Undoubtedly, it can be hard to break a habit!)

Wednesday Words: What is Lorem Ipsum?

While looking through templates for my blog, I read the words Lorem Ipsum perhaps 4,622 times – or at least it felt like it. Have you seen them?

What is Lorem Ipsum?  Well, it’s dummy, or placeholder, text historically used in the printing business.  You can find it on software templates now as well, including blog templates.  Lorem Ipsum appears to most to be nonsense wording, such as:

Ea eam labores imperdiet, apeirian democritum ei nam, doming neglegentur ad vis. Ne malorum ceteros feugait quo, ius ea liber offendit placerat, est habemus aliquyam legendos id. Eam no corpora maluisset definitiones, eam mucius malorum id. Quo ea idque commodo utroque, per ex eros etiam accumsan.

From what source did this odd nonsense language originate? Lipsum.com explains that the lines come from The Extremes of Good and Evil by Cicero, written in 45 B.C.  The line begins, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet . . .” Roughly translated, Lorem Ipsum means “Pain itself.” The essay from Cicero addresses the partaking of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. If you want to see a full translation of the passage, click HERE.

Odd to think that the words “pain itself” were chosen to grace the pages of printing, newsletter, and blog templates. And why choose text from over 2000 years ago? Why not use the lyrics of Rapture by Blondie? Plenty of those are nonsense too.

Just because...

Typically, Lorem Ipsum generators use a vocabulary of over 200 Latin words somewhat randomly arranged.  (Check out Wikipedia’s entry on Lorem Ipsum as well.)

Lorum Ipsum is not the only dummy text around, however. If you much prefer English gobbledygook, you can try Malevole’s text generator. Or Lorem Ipsum Generator 3 permits you to choose what language your gibberish appears in. The Sitepoint website links to other dummy text generators as well.

Why on earth does this fascinate me? I find words of all kinds intriguing, and the use of placeholder text indicates that words and letters are important even if they mean nothing at all.

It’s a bit like hearing a toddler babble. Young children try out sounds and combinations of sounds until they stumble upon something that seems to have meaning to the adults around them. Then they repeat it. The goo-goos and ga-gas are like placeholder language, until the real thing replaces the babbling.

Moreover, we understand at some basic level that the presentation of text is important, so that we want to see how the words look on the page even before we have specific sentences ready to go. Admittedly, Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg address on an envelope, but it still matters how a printed page looks if you want readers to devour it.  Using Latin or other dummy text reminds us how key it is to have our words be accessible to others. It is not enough to speak brilliance to ourselves. We want others to read our words.

Frankly, I’m glad that there was placeholder text so I could view how the blog page would look once I came up with something to say.  Have you used Lorem Ipsum or other dummy text for any purpose? What do you know about text generators? Might you ever use them? Do you know Latin? Do you think it matters how text is presented to readers? Is content or presentation more important?

Wednesday Words: Euphemistically Speaking

When someone dies, we often say something like, “We lost Uncle Eddie.” In my quirky little mind, I always think, Lost? Like our car keys, an umbrella, or what? If you lose something, you look for it. But we aren't looking for Uncle Eddie. We know where he is. And we aren’t going to reach between the couch cushions and recover his soul like last week’s change. But saying that we lost someone sounds so much better than saying they died. It’s a euphemism.

What other popular euphemisms are there? There are plenty when it comes to death: passed on, kicked the bucket, no longer with us, etc. But other topics are also too sensitive for us to use frank wording to express our thoughts. How about the following?

Assisted living facility – Nursing homes, or old folks’ homes, had a bad reputation, so these places needed a better moniker for their business. Assisted living facility at least conveys what happens there, but the phrase doesn’t roll off one’s tongue.

Correctional facility?

Correctional Facility – If you’ve been saying that your cousin is in a correctional facility, face it: He’s in jail, prison, the slammer. We all hope that the experience corrects whatever was askew to begin with that landed him in jail, but regardless, he’s locked up like Tweety Bird in a cage.

Electronic surveillance – It's spying with a camera or bug, plain and simple.

Esthetician – Waxing someone's nether regions is a hot job these days (no pun intended). I suppose calling your personal hair-yanker an esthetician is preferable to other options, like Follicle Remover, Hair Hijacker, or whatever. I don't what it should be called, but somehow “esthetician” makes it sound much nicer.

Exotic dancer – It's not that exotic really. You can find strippers just about anywhere. I've never visited a strip club, but my understanding is that their dancing ability also varies in its quality, so dancer isn't necessarily an accurate term either.

Indisposed – If you call someone and receive the message that he/she is “indisposed,” you might hear the flush in the background soon after. But it is a whole lot better than some of the terms I heard boys call it back in junior high. And we use other euphemisms as well like “using the bathroom,” “taking care of business,” “answering nature’s call,” etc.

Laid off – This euphemism can join “let go” and “downsized,” along with the ridiculous “right-sized” term, to express that your company fired you. Getting fired stinks, and changing its name doesn't help the person without the job. It just makes the company feel less guilty for kicking an employee out the door.

Over the hill – Exactly when this proverbial hill peaks, I’m not sure. (If you say 40, I’m crawling through the internet, finding you, and smacking you upside the head.) But at some point, when you are truly old, you have to call it something. I plan to call it “chronologically misrepresented” – as in my age won't indicate how young I really am.

Preowned – Your car is USED. If you can’t say that aloud, buy a new one.

Sanitary landfill – Growing up, we called it the dump. I don’t know what’s so sanitary about it. It's refuse, trash, waste – all heaped in a pile on some discarded piece of land.

Genesis: Illegal Alien

Undocumented worker – When did this term overtake “illegal alien”? I don’t think the Genesis song would sound nearly as good with “It’s no fun being an undocumented worker.” Fun doesn't even rhyme with that! Immigration policy aside (and I do not discuss politics here!), the term isn’t exactly clear who we are talking about.

What other euphemisms have you noticed? Which ones do you think are appropriate? Which ones seem completely ridiculous? Do you have any euphemisms to suggest? Why do you think we use euphemisms, instead of saying what we really mean?

Prickly Pronunciations

These words all rhyme:

New

Cue

Lieu

Woo

Do

So how do you spell the “oo” sound in English?  Um, it depends. 

The English language represents a mixing of cultures because it has borrowed words from many other tongues and pronunciation has evolved.  Often, this leads to confusion about pronouncing words in general because there aren’t standard rules for many letter combinations.  We grabbed words from everywhere, so the word may have been anglicized or the spelling from the original source might remain in some form. 

I have often been glad that English is my first language because learning it later in life would probably feel like picking grains of rice out of pile of mud – tedious to say the least.  I read a poem to this effect a long time ago and saved it in my files.  It’s a brilliant summary of the difficulties of pronunciation in our English language.  Take a look. 

Recovering Sounds from Orthography

Brush Up Your English 

I take it you already know

Of tough and bough and cough and dough.

Others may stumble but not you,

On hiccough, through, plough and through.

Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,

To learn of less familiar traps. 

Beware of heard, a dreadful word

That looks like beard and sounds like bird,

And dead – it’s said like bed, not bead.

For goodness's sake, don't call it deed!

Watch out for meat and great and threat:

They rhyme with suite and straight and debt. 

A moth is not a moth in mother,

Nor both in bother, broth in brother,

And here is not a match for there,

Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,

And then there's dose and rose and lose –

Just look them up – and goose and choose,

And cork and work and card and ward,

And font and front and word and sword,

And do and go and thwart and cart.

Come, come, I've hardly made a start. 

A dreadful language? Man alive,

I'd mastered it when I was five. 

The funny thing is that most people do master English – more or less.  We’re not all great spellers, and we have to scratch our heads now and then to think about which letters to use.  But we mostly get it. 

So how do you make the

ē sound now?

Why is that?  First, we typically learn the sound of a word before its spelling.  So while the spelling may strike us as unusual, we still know that [throo] is a word which we now associate with “through.”

Second, although we are often taught as children to sound things out, it is better to memorize whole words.  And what’s the best way to memorize words?  Well, if you read a lot (whether novels, comic books, magazines, online, etc.) and practice writing words correctly, pronouncing and spelling them becomes second nature. 

What pronunciations do you find particularly quirky in the English language?  What amazes you about our ability to master our native tongue?  If English is your second language, has pronouncing words tripped you up at times?

Word Weaver, Sandra Boynton



Sandra Boynton w/her chickens

If you’ve never heard of Sandra Boynton, you are missing out.  Most parents have either seen Boynton’s children books or heard her CD’s.  She has also designed numerous greeting cards.  What I love most, though, are her songs.  Here’s a woman who has beautifully combined her eclectic taste in music with a love of language and a big dose of good ole fashioned silliness.   

I hereby nominate Ms. Boynton for my own Word Weaver Award (in the category of lyrics): 

Word Weaver Award

When Ms. Boynton came out with her acclaimed book and music CD, ThePhiladelphia Chickens, I bought it at the recommendation of a friend.  After which I had to go back and purchase Rhinoceros Tap and next Dog Train.  I haven’t acquired her latest music CD, Blue Moo, although I’m assured it’s a must-have. 

Ms. Boynton teamed up with Michael Ford on these CD’s to produce high quality, fun music with great lyrics sung by a wide range of entertainers – including The Bacon Brothers, Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gormé, Laura Linney, Patti LuPone, Scott Bakula, Meryl Streep, The Spin Doctors, Alison Krauss, John Ondrasik of Five for Fighting, Hootie & the Blowish, Neil Sedaka, and Brian Wilson. 

One of my personal favorites is Kevin Kline singing Busy, Busy, Busy.  What do you think? 

I contend that lovers of language of all ages – from child to geezer – can enjoy the lyrics and music woven by Boynton and sung by a slew of the talented performers. 

Here are a few more: 

Davy Jones of the Monkees singing Your Personal Penguin

 B.B. King singing One Shoe Blues

Adam Bryant singing The Shortest Song in the Universe

If you’re looking for some language and music fun for your kids (or just you), I highly recommend Sandra Boynton’s CD’s.  Of course, her books and cards are fun too. 

 

Do you have any favorites of hers?  What other singers or composers have music aimed at children that even adults will love?  Who would you nominate as a brilliant Word Weaver?  Share your recommendations!

Wednesday Words: What's Your Pet Peeve?

What is your greatest pet peeve in common language usage? 

No, not that!
Anything but THAT!

I polled some friends and here are a few I heard:

• Confusing words like your and you're; to, too, and two; idea and ideal
• “Anyways” instead of Anyway”
• Ending sentences with a preposition
• Misuse of lie/lay, that/which, due to/because of
• Redundancies like “Return back”
• Mispronunciations like “arthur” instead of “author”
• Problems with compound possessives – “My wife and I’s kids” instead of “My wife’s and my kids”
• “Yeah” instead of “Yes, ma’am” (maybe that’s a Southern thing)
• “Like,” “and so on,” “and all,” “all that,” “you know” peppered throughout speech 

But the winner of my informal Facebook poll would be the person who agrees with my all-time pet peeve.  (Good job, Amy!)  My own vote is the oft-used phrase, “I could care less.”  Well, I reply, then do. 

You see, what people are actually trying to communicate is that they don’t care at all.  The original phrase, therefore, is “I couldn’t care less” – as in “I could not possibly care any less than I currently do because I don’t care at all.”  If you “could care less,” then that means that you care some! 

In this case, I do not accept that the phrase is simply changing; the argument that language is fluid and always evolving, that the correct word or phrase is what people most commonly use.  Because the phrase simply doesn’t make sense in that way. 

Whenever I hear it, I feel like Wolverine’s claws are scraping against the language center of my brain, ripping apart all that is good and holy.  And half of the time, it is from someone I don’t know well, so I can’t interject, “Hey, that’s wrong!” without risking weird stares, societal ostracizing, or getting pushed onto my keister.  (Though I can be found from time to time yelling at my TV or radio, “I couldn’t care less!!” to someone who has misused the phrase yet again.)  Also, adding rudeness to poor language usage falls into the “two wrongs do not make a right” category. 

So do you have your own language pet peeves?  What are they?  How do you handle it when you hear them?