A Lesson with Miss Pronunciation

"Listen up, class."
-Miss Pronunciation

It's time for AMAZE-ing Words Wednesday! Today’s word lesson will be taught by renowned language arts instructor, Miss Pronunciation. Miss Pronunciation will present the incorrect and correct ways of articulating some commonly mispronounced words in the English language. Without further ado, I hand our virtual classroom over to Miss Pronunciation.

AUTHOR

Arthur is a lovable aardvark featured in children’s books by Marc Brown and the PBS series of the same name and/or Dudley’s Moore drunken character from the movie Arthur (1981) which co-starred Liza Minnelli and gave John Gielgud a Supporting Actor Oscar. An author writes books. Please do not confuse the two.

ASK

An axe is a tool wielded for cutting down trees or butchering family members (e.g., Lizzie Borden). To ask is to inquire, query, request information.

ATHLETE

An ath-a-lete does not exist. Unfortunately, the additional syllable is often added by those simply unaware of the proper two-syllable version, athlete, or by such athletes who have been knocked in the head too many times.

ET CETERA

I believe that Excetera, or Ekcetera, is Superhero Elektra’s younger sister whose ninja skills didn’t quite make the cut to get her own comic line. Et cetera, pronounced [et set-er-uh], is the Latin phrase meaning “and so on” and is used to indicate more items in a list without naming them specifically.

Pic from Kevin at deviantart.com

IDEA

An ideal is a standard of perfection or excellence, while an idea is a notion or thought which pops into your mind like that light bulb above the cartoon character's head. What would be ideal is for people to pronounce idea without the added “l” since it is rather unnecessary and somewhat confusing.

LIBRARY

Libary is the command given to your dog Barry when you wish him to play dead for the amusement of your neighbors. A library (note the "r") is a public institution which collects and loans out books to residents who go the trouble of procuring a library card.

New York Public Library

MISCHIEVOUS

Mischievous is a word almost no one knows how to say. However, it does not have an ē sound anywhere in the word (no mischievEEous). Those who mispronounce it demonstrate a mischievousness all their own. Personally, Miss Pronunciation believes that the problem could easily be avoided by changing the spelling of this word altogether to mischuhvus.

PICTURE

A pitcher is what one uses to pour liquids into cups and glasses, as in “Bring me and my buddies another pitcher of beer!” If, however, you have too many pitchers, you and your friends will not be a pretty picture for long. Not only will your speech slur such that you can no longer get a “k” sound in before the “ch,” but nearby tables will ask you to leave or call the cab for you. (Drink responsibly. Or not at all.)

Johannes Vermeer's The Milkmaid
A piCture with a piTcher

SPECIFIC

The Pacific is an ocean or the region of islands in that ocean. Specific is something identifiable and particular. You may wish to be more specific in using this word by making sure that you include the requisite “s."

SUPPOSEDLY

If the good-looking guy across the hall asks whether you get ESPN because he wants to watch the game at your place, do not answer “Supposably I do.” That will be the last “I do” you say to him if he possesses pronunciation skills. In fact, he will supposedly find another young lady in the apartment building whose couch is comfortable and whose speech is clear. “Oh well,” you say, “I didn’t want a sports-obsessed couch potato anyway!” Perhaps, but you might want to shift that “b” to a “d” just in case the guy you adore wants to know if the Caribbean cruise passes through Acapulco, to which you would say, “Supposedly” as you pack your carry-on to join him.

Miss Pronunciation thanks you for your attention and hopes that this lesson has been enlightening and entertaining.

What other words have you heard mispronounced? Do you struggle with certain word pronunciations yourself? (Undoubtably Undoubtedly, it can be hard to break a habit!)

Wednesday Words: It is Lite or Light?

You will never catch me pulling into the “Krazy Kat Kar Wash.”  I don’t care if my vehicle looks like it emerged from a mudslide or the only thing visible through my front windshield is the collection of insects amassed from a three-hour drive down a farm-to-market road.  I simply cannot endorse the new craze of misspelling everything in sight to get a potential customer’s attention.

I know, I know.  Grammar snob.

But I have wondered when this craze began.  At what point did we decide to forego spell check and purposefully alter signs to grab a second look.  In fact, when was “All You Can Eat Night?” replaced by “All U Can Eat Nite”?  When did “crazy” become “krazy” and us not think that’s crazy?

And how far will this trend extend?  Will I eventually pull up to the “Dryv Throo” at my local “Chikn & Freyes” restaurant?  Will it reach my doctor’s office, so that I am greeted by a sign saying, “Akcepting Nu Payshunts!”  Where’s the line?

For me, a business can get my attention by delivering a quality product, excellent customer service, word-of-mouth advertising, and people dressed up as your corporate mascot waving me down from the road curb (?).

Liberty Tax Service Mascot

But I would prefer that you leave the English language intact.  It’s already a hodge-podge of spellings lifted from other languages and years of evolution.  It doesn’t need further confusion.

What misspellings have you noticed?  Do they get your attention?  If so, is that attention positive or negative?  Are you more likely or less likely to frequent these businesses?

Wednesday Words: Should You Correct Friends?

My feet shuffle across the hard floor, as chairs creak and a cough echoes in the half-empty room.  I clear my throat, lean over to the microphone on its rickety stand, and announce:  “My name is Julie, and I am a correcta-holic.”  At least that’s what I confessed in my post about Obsessive-Correcting Disorder, although I don’t really think being a stickler for correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar is a disease that requires diagnosis or treatment.   Still, I can imagine that others may not want to send a note, shoot an email, or chat with me on Facebook after I have admitted to naturally noticing such errors.

Rest assured, however, that the grammar sticklers I know, including moi, are not mentally grading your work like an English teacher with a red pen.  (Do they still use red? I heard that injures self-esteem.)  There is a difference between published works and informal communication!

If I pick up a novel and notice ten errors in the first chapter, my thought is, “This was written and/or edited poorly.  This author and/or publisher did not care enough about the reader to clear up errors so that the book reads smoothly.”  (And I often toss the book aside like unidentifiable leftovers from my fridge.)  Advertising flyers, business signs, newsletters, and websites get the same level of merciless scrutiny.  These are professional publications that should be edited and proofread!

However, if I open my email inbox and someone has shot me a “Youre blog was terrific! Cant wait to read more posts!” I’m excited that they sat down and penned me a personal note!  If I notice the errors at all, I figure it’s because our lives are harried and they wrote in a hurry.

Now granted, if almost every Tweet, Facebook post, or email from someone is riddled with errors, I will figure that this person could use a remedial writing course; English is their fourth language; or they simply don’t care.  And it will unnerve me like an itch between my shoulder blades that I just can’t reach.  But when it comes to informal communication, a good rule is judge not, lest ye be judged!

I’ve read over things I sent out to a friend in a hurry and been appalled at an egregious misspelling or the absence of a crucial word.  My most recent ridiculous error was tweeting back to another author (Wendy Sparrow - check out her blog here) about how much I enjoyed reading Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss and typing, “Stickers unite!”  (Duh.  Sticklers.)  Thankfully, with friends, we fill in the gaps and determine the meaning nonetheless.   To err is human, to forgive divine!

I proofread my emails, blog posts, tweets, etc. because I consider those few seconds well spent.  But errors still spill through the cracks.  And if I corrected every informal message that I received, I would waste precious time that I could devote to more productive pursuits; stop receiving texts from my children; and be that itch between the shoulder blades that my friends and family just can’t reach.

You see, this is why I don’t think I have a problem that requires intervention.  (So my family can stop planning one, thank you very much.)  I can turn that correcting part of my brain off when it isn’t useful to the communication.

At least, most of the time.  Unfortunately (or fortunately, I think!), my husband and children are still subjected to my periodic correcting, regardless of context.  The rest of you are relatively safe.

What do you think about errors in professional publications vs. informal communication?  How do you approach it?

Round of Words in 80 Days Update:  1,038 of 5,000 words for the week; found serious timeline error in manuscript so pulling out hair and working that out; keeping up with three blogs at week (despite AT&T accidentally yanking my internet today).  All in all, progress!